Solving Problems

Perhaps wearing her adventurer's gear for this job wasn't the best idea, but as a professional problem solver she was here to help some people with their problems, so she might as well be dressed for the mindset.

Still, she hadn't anticipated the amount of drooling looks she was getting from some of the men in this group. Back on Jade, people tended to respect the strength more than ogle the curves.

"Okay, folks, time to wake up and smell the roses. You've all gone through a shocking event and I'm here to help you adapt to it. And to help with this, we're going to focus on the GOOD parts of lycanthropy!"

About half the gathered group -mostly the women- were paying very close attention to what she was saying. Everyone gathered had been changed by the unknown event a month ago, and some had more trouble adapting than others. Sasha was one of many people from Jade brought in at the insistence of Dr. Theodore Diggers to help people get adjusted.

"Now, before we get started, can anyone tell me the best part of being a lycanthrope?"

No real response came, though Sasha's hyper-sensitive Jagwere hearing clearly made out several mumbled comments about being ostracized by family. Sasha had heard more than a few such stories since her arrival on Earth, and it wasn't too surprising - suddenly turn one in twenty people on a world with almost completely nonexistant knowledge of magic into various types of lycanthropes and things are going to get rough.

Sasha didn't know what a "nuke" was, but she'd heard many people state amazement it hadn't lead to "nukes flying everywhere." All Sasha knew for now is that the way such comments were made, "nukes" sounded like a very bad thing to have flying around.

But that wasn't her concern right now. It was time to help people out...Whether they liked it or not. And with that, she walked up to one of the men who had been leering at her - a very large werelion who was making no effort to hide his perverted thought.

Back on Jade Sasha's supercharged libido was the stuff of legends, and she'd gotten the feeling that some of that legend found it's way around the halls of the government building she found herself in.

What HADN'T gotten around, however, was her equally-legendary control over said libido. This lion was clearly expecting the class to devolve into "fun."

"I'll have Mr. Collins here demonstrate for us. Mr. Collins, please stand up."

The werelion did so, still not hiding his perverted grin or that his eyes were locked on Sasha's chest.

He never saw the baseball bat coming. With a mighty swing of the blunt object, there was a loud cracking of crushing bones, and Mr. Collins collapsed on the floor.

*They actually use this thing for SPORTS?* Sasha though as she plopped the bloodied wooden stick on her shoulder. She now had EVERYONE'S undivided attention.

After a few seconds, the damage the Collins' head repaired itself and he got back up, quite annoyed, "The FUCK is wrong with you, bitch?!"

Sasha ignored the outburst, walking back to the head of the room. "The best thing about being a lycanthrope is that because I did not sue silver, magic, or my own claws that hit, which SHOULD have killed Mr. Collins, only knocked him out for a few seconds before regenerating itself."

Sasha set the baseball bat down, "But don't EVER get complacent in this ability; Even without the aforementioned influences, your regenerative powers only go so far. You're not going to survive being reduced to a cloud of pink mist!"

"No surviving nukes, then." Came a mumbled comment from the back of the room. Sasha looked at the one who made the comment - a jagwere lady by the name of Sari Hallstead. She wasn't actually part of the class, she was there to help a friend who was having a rough time of things. She was clearly pretty comfortable with her changes given the very showy outfit she had on. Bit too much leather for Sasha's taste, though. But she'd mentioned that word again - Sasha really needed to find out what these nukes were and why people are so worried about them.

The rest of the day went fairly well -no more ogling from the guys(or the one girl who had been doing the same, though Sasha got the feeling she was more impressed by her msucles than her chest), but Sasha had noticed another oddity in her group - a werewolf girl in the back. Her papers identified the girl as "Rion," no last name given. She paid full attention but she seemed particularly perturbed by something.

She definitely wasn't comfortable with herself - Sasha could see she had a nice body, but she was deliberately trying to hide this. She was the only one in the class who didn't seem more relaxed by the end of the day, so Sasha decided she was going to need some more "direct" assistance.

"Miss Rion," Sasha called as her class filed out of the room, "Would you stick around for a bit? We need to talk." Then Sasha thought of something else - killing two birds with one stone, "Miss Hallstead, I'd like to ask you something, too." Sari was clearly a mountain of confidence and might be able to help her help Rion, and maybe she could also learn about these "nukes" from her.

After the class had filed out, it was just Sasha, Sari, and Rion left in the room.

"I couldn't help but notice something I didn't cover seems to be bothering you. I'm here to help newly-changed lycanthropes with any problem I can.

"I...have my doubts you can help with this."

"You can't know if you don't tell her," Sari piped in, "We've been given something awesome." The way Sari stretched and pushed her chest out indicated she may not have been referring to the strength, health, and regenerative powers, "We might as well get used to it and enjoy it."

Sasha took a moment to appreciate this woman. Since she'd arrived on Earth she hadn't met a single lycanthope with such confidence until now.

"It's not the lycanthropy that's the problem," Rion responded.

"Well, even if I can't help your problem myself, I can guarantee I know someone who will. I can help you with ANYTHING, Rion."

That was no joke - in her travels as a problem solver on Jade, she'd met people with some insanely unique specializations. The chances that Rion had a problem one of them couldn't help was slim.

"The problem is...Well...Before this happened, I was a guy."

That was clearly not the response Sari expected - she froze in place after hearing it. She didn't seem to be bothered, just surprised.

So, Rion was an Anomaly. One in every 1000 people affected had some sort of unusual result, and gender swaps for one's hybrid forms were not uncommon ones.

Sasha maintained her confident air, "Oh, is THAT all?"

"And I can't leave my hybrid form."

Well...That changes things a bit. But not much. Sasha had to stifle a chuckle, "Well, then, I know EXACTLY what you need."

Sari began to feel a bit nervous with the look Sasha had just flashed her, "This poor young lady has had her confidence completely shattered for obvious reasons. Miss Hallstead, would you please help me rebuild it?"

Now Sari was getting REALLY nervous. She'd heard rumors that Sasha had "interesting" ways of solving problems, and it's what made her successful for so long, but this was no run-of-the-mill problem. Sari had her doubts she had ever run across something like this.

"And how do we do that?" Sari inquired, suspicious.

"First off, we're going shopping."

All Sari could utter was a simple "Wat" while Rion sat there confused.

"Just a moment, I need to call in Mrs. Gia for this. I met her through her father, and since I'm unfamiliar with how your 'department stores' operate it seems prudent to call in an expert."

Rion couldn't shake the feeling of someone having walked over her grave. As Sasha left the room, she simply uttered, "What the hell have I gotten myself into?"

After taking a moment to consdier Rion, and Sasha's apparent plan, and evil smirk made it's way onto Sari's face.

"You know what, kiddo? She's not wrong."

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A new piece for the Gold Digger Ultimate universe. Hope you enjoy.

This iamge was drawn by the ever-awesome Cylnx, whose gallery can be found here: www.furaffinity.net/user/cylnx…

Next time around we'll get a closer look at Rion's GDU incarnation and see exactly what her deal is. And find out if Sasha successfully solved her "problem."